Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? ....No, it's a Dangerous Homemade Rocket.

Yes, the rainy season has come around once again and so begins my last season here in Thailand. To kick it off, there was the Isaan Rocket Festival. This special event is held all over Northeast Thailand but is particularly famous in the poorest and most rural province.- Yasothon. Which is where I also happen to live. The idea is to send homemade rockets (safety, schmafety. This is Thailand.) Into the sky in order to encourage the gods to make it rain and so allow a new season of rice growing and planting to begin. It's also an excuse to get absolutely wasted. I've never seen so many drunken men in one small village.

My part in this festival was to dance. Thai dance that is, (lost of intricate arm and hand movements whilst standing in lines and turing on the spot) in front of the whole village in the heat of the day wearing traditional dress. The dance was twenty minutes long and we had to do it three times in different locations. We got through it without expiring (though I'm not sure how as I managed to lose about three stone in sweat.-disgusting I know but, details are important) and had a well earned rest.

Next was the actual rocket launching. We all went off to a random rice field where hundreds of people had gathered on plastic chairs to watch. Rockets were strapped to wooden scaffolding and then fired up into the sky. when the big ones were launched, everybody stood up in anticipation and clapped and cheered as their creations shot up. They presumably came down somewhere too but no one seemed to know where. Anyone whose rocket failed to launch was tossed in the mud. Afterwards, the party continued with stages set up everywhere for karaoke and dancing and there was a big fair with rides and even a ferris wheel. It was odd seeing a small sleepy town become so excitable and busy but I guess rain is so important for farming and most of the people who live here are farmers. (Did I mention I live in the poorest province in Thailand?) Drive for any distance outside the village and its rice fields as far as you can see in every direction.

Well at any rate, all the celebrations seemed to have worked as it's been raining non stop for the past three days. Its great because it cools everything down and, generally just makes for a nice change. However, its not so great when your primary mode of transport is a bicycle!

Sawat Dee Ka.

Happy New Year!

I know I’ve not been keeping you up to date as regularly as usual, but that’s due to an unforeseen combination of lack of cash, lack of internet cafes and being distracted by glorious beaches.

What? I hear you say, surely not another one? Well yep, another New Year celebration has come around. This time it was Songkran, or Thai New Year and I think it’s my favourite New Year so far, probably because it’s the most fun a person can have over three days. It starts out serious enough- a Buddhist ceremony where water is used to gently wash Buddha images and then is poured over the monks themselves- but afterwards it turns into a fully fledged, no holds barred, deadly (okay not deadly as such) water fight.

Get a city, (in our case, Chiang Mai) arm every occupant with a water pistol or pickup truck containing vats of water and let them loose on each other and you’ll get close to what happens. It’s actually impossible to stay dry if you step outside for more than three seconds. It’s chaos. Great chaos. The only slightly bad thing about it is the “nam yen.” This is water that’s had a block of ice melted into it. So cold! If we spotted anyone with nam yen, we’d take serious revenge on them. People driving past in cars were bombarded if they’d left so much as a crack in their window and why anyone even bothered to attempt driving a moped I’ll never know. It was all very good natured though.

The madness would go on all day with everyone crowding the pavements and taking over the roads. Music was blasting out from all the bars and shops and everyone was dancing and having an amazing time.  Shame it came to an end, but it was nice to by dry for a change and all the water actually ended up giving me an ear infection...

After Songkran it was a gruelling forty eight hour journey south to Ko Pha Ngan, home of the infamous Full Moon Parties. They happen...well at every full moon and have been going for about twenty five years. You may have heard of them and if so you probably know about all the bad press that goes along with them. I remain unconvinced because out of the eleven of us (and okay there were maybe thousands of people there) none of ended up drugged, killed, drowned, attacked or robbed. And we definitely weren’t at our most sensible. Except me, that is. Ahem....

So at a Full Moon Party you dance your way around the beach through the night and through different musical genres until the sun rises. And it was very surreal wandering into the trance section at five o’clock in the morning I can tell you. The ultimate night out though.

That was just a small snippet of what the holidays have been like (i.e AMAZING), though I may share some more if I run out of tales of thrilling village life.

Sawat Dee Pii Mai!

 (again again)

Ostrowski. Fleur Ostrowski.

Another week, another patch of Thailand covered. This time it was the south. Luckily, we visited the western side of the coast rather than the eastern side so we managed to avoid all the bad flooding. Though on the journey back up north, the flood waters we drove through were so high, the water came in the bus! And other volunteers had to be evacuated by the navy on their travels! Exciting. And scary.

The south of Thailand is very beautiful. The sand is so white, the sky is so blue and the sea looks as if it's been dyed the perfect shade of turquoise. Literally, paradise. The main reason for being in the south was because Anna's parents were flying out to visit her and travel with us for a bit. So I was temporarily adopted into the Ostrowski clan. (that's temporarily, Parents) First stop on our island hop was Phuket, which was too touristy for my liking, (I have been living in the back of beyond for seven months, remember) but we went on a day tour of four smaller islands and went canoeing in some sea caves inhabited by bats. The man running the tour was ver taken with us when he found out why were in Thailand and kept pushing his canoe to the front so we'd end up as passengers. We also went to "James Bond Island" (hence the blog title) named so because it was used to film The Man with the Golden Gun. As you may have noticed this is a continuation of my film tour of Thailand which is completely incidental. There's more come though...

After Phuket came Ko Phi Phi ("Ko" means Island) and it was time for a snorkeling trip. I'd never been snorkeling properly-with a mask and flippers- but I loved it. The fish were brilliantly colourful and swam right up to you and swarmed over pieces of bread we had in the water. At one point I made a rookie mistake of trying to giggle, but only managed to snort up a load of seawater which was quite unpleasant. It all got rather exciting when I looked down and saw a shark! Just swimming around on the ocean floor! I may have flippered off pretty sharpish... Back to my film tour. I mentioned the film The Beach earlier when I went to one of the waterfalls used. Well this time I actually went to the The Beach beach. It was very, very beautiful and looked pretty much exactly as it had in the film.

The last island we went to was Ko Lanta, where we did a Thai cooking course. Now, I eat Thai food of course but I've never cooked it- stall and restaurant food is so cheap in our village we hardly ever use our electric wok. Which, after the disaster of the grill and the Christmas chicken, is the only cooking tool we have. The food we made was delicious, compliments to the chef! My favourite was Panang Curry, closely followed by Chicken and Cashew Nuts. We even got a recipe book to take away so when I get home, I shall be whipping up lots of Thai treats. Though it could be tricky gettin hold of ingredients. Anyone know a shop in Derby that sells galangal?

Sawat Dee Ka!

I Was Mauled by a Leopard...!

... but we'll get to that later.

So next stop on my travels was Kanchanaburi. And continuing the movie theme (see previous blog) Kanchanaburi is home to the the Death Railway Bridge, made famous by the film The Bridge on the River Kwai. For those not who don't have clue what I'm going on about, here's a quick history lesson: During World War Two, the Japanese sought increasing control over Southeast Asia. Getting into Burma (Myanmar) proved tricky so they decided a new rail link was needed so they began to construct the Thai-Burma railway using Prisoners of War (mostly British and Australian) as free labour. The railway became known as the Death Railway due to the amount of POW who died whilst building it because of the dreadful conditions and poor treatment by the Japanese. Class dismissed.

We visited the war museum and the allied cemetery where there were hundreds of headstones for British, Australian, Dutch and American soldiers. The British ones had badges of what regiment (I don't know if this is the right term) they had come from and I managed to find some "Sherwood Foresters" who had come from Derby and Nottingham. Quite a proud moment I think.

Enough seriousness. Now for a fun fact. The River Kwai is constantly mispronounced by, well pretty much everyone except Thai people. Speak about the river Kwae (as in "care") and not about the river Kwai (as in "pie") otherwise you'll be talking about the river Buffalo which always gets a laugh from Thais. We went kayaking on the river which was a lovely serene trip. Though we did crash into a floating restaurant causing several patrons and staff to come running. (there a lots of floating things here- restaurants, bars, guesthouses, dead kayakers) only our pride was bruised though and we made a speedy getaway under the bridge.

Kanchanaburi has turned out to be one of my most favourite places so far. There's a perfect mix of culture, history, tourism, cheap places to stay and cheap places to drink. Not that I've been testing these places out...much. But you've got to visit a bar which promises you drinks for ten Baht (20p)

Ah, yes the leopard mauling. Well I was in a market (nice, calm, supposedly leopard-free) and there was a bus. With a leopard on it. It looked young and cute though it was chained up quite shortly and the whole situation was a bit sad. I took some photos (it's not every day you see a leopard) from a safe distance before the owner came over and forced me to touch it. Literally grabbed my hand, dragged me over and put my hand on its head. It didn't like this and instantly lunged at arm batting my hand away. Luckily, its claws had been cut very short so it didn't actually cut me. But still!

Right, times up for this internet cafe so Sawat Dee Ka!

Won't you take me to MonkeyTown?

No, it's not to do with monks this time.

The summer holidays have begun. For me, this means two months of freedom to do whatever I please. Right now, I'm in the charming town of Lopburi home to some lovely ruins, former palaces, museums, but more importantly...monkeys. They're everywhere! As soon as I opened the curtains there was one peering in at me. They scramble up buildings, shimmy down drainpipes and I even saw one hitching a lift on someones car. (Though it may have unintentionally trapped itself on the roof) The locals don't give them a second glance but I could watch them all day. No one ever harms the monkeys as some believe them to be descendants of the Hindu monkey god Hanuman, others however are just staying in line with the Buddhist ideals of not harming others. And I so sound like a history book here. Anyway....

So we've soaked up the atmosphere, the culture and the history and tomorrow we'll be moving on by bus which, believe it or not, is going to be a step down from the third class train we took to get here. Cheap as chips, more comfortable and far more interesting, trains offer another glimpse of Thai life. Hawkers walk up and down the carriage selling everything from beer to talcum powder and childern hang out the windows trying to grab leaves off the passing trees. (okay sounding like a travel book here) Ahem...

Before Lopburi, we were in Khao Yai National Park. One of the biggest and best parks in the world. We slept in little more than a shack and it was freezing at night. We didn't manage to spot a tiger but we saw deer, snakes, porcupines and monkeys whilst on a night safari. We also visited the waterfall that features in the film The Beach (if you've seen it, it's the one Leonardo DiCaprio launches himself off) which was rather exciting. We also had an unfortunate attack of leeches of which Anna is actually phobic of. Not kidding. And "Fleur, get this leech off me!" is not what you really hope to hear in the middle of the jungle. We escaped unscathed and "un-leeched" though I don't think I'vr ever seen someone run away from a waterfall so fast....

Sawat Dee!

Monk-eying Around

Pardon the bad pun.

Monks are everywhere in Thailand. This is not unusual of course seeing as ninety percent of the population is Buddhist making Thailand the largest Buddhist population in the world. Monks dress in orange robes of varying shades-almost neon coloured to more of a brown hue, they have shaved heads and eyebrows and all of them are, of course, male. You get nuns in Thailand but they’re less prominent. However, they too have their heads shaved but wear white instead of orange. I had not been acquainted with any until one fell asleep on me during in the back of a pickup truck. Long (and awkward) story.

Back to monks. We volunteers had all been invited on another English camp in Nakhon Sawan by a previous volunteer who has moved back to Thailand after university. This time we’d be teaching high-school aged novice monks. We were all slightly nervous, the girls especially as women aren’t allowed to touch or make physical contact with monks or even pass them things. If we wanted to hand out sheets we’d have to put them down and hope they’d pick them up. Even though I don’t go around touching monks (or any random people actually) I found myself being extra aware of monk-proximities. Even after the camp was over I kept automatically flinching away from men walking past in the street. I probably looked mental. Anyway, we were split into pairs and given a topic to teach Chess (Francesca) and I taught fruit all day to different groups of monks. We played the game ‘Fruit Salad’ and watching robed, religious young men run around fighting each other for chairs so they didn’t have to say ‘apple’ in front of everyone was a lot of fun. Weirdly you get lady boy monks which are an even stranger sight- watching monks mince up and down with false eyelashes on and saying ‘strawberry’ in the campest voice ever.

When the day was over, we all got given certificates and presents. Which all turned out to be the same. A towel. Hope they weren’t hinting at anything. Afterwards we hit the streets of Nakhon Sawan for my second New Year of the New Year. This time it was Chinese New Year and as Nakhon Sawan has a large Chinese population we saw parades of floats with Chinese dancing and music playing, there were fireworks and firecrackers and the streets glowed red with the hundreds of lanterns that had been strung across them. We saw a show with fire breathing creatures that could change their faces with a flick of the head and naturally the famous Chinese dragons.

This weekend has been a lot different as we travelled to the next village where some more volunteers are posted. Though their village is much tinier than ours, they have a spa! Which you can use for free! You have to sign some forms (they wanted my parents names’ for some bizarre reason) and give your blood pressure and are supposed to make a donation but apart from that we had a free afternoon going in and out of the steam room. Ah, bliss!

Sawat Dee Ka!

And Happy New Year. Again.

Trippin'

I loved school trips. The coach journeys, the laughs, just the change of scenery. But then there were always the work booklets or the timetables or questionnaires with which to annoy the general public.  If only there were schools which took you to places just for fun and not because they’re vaguely related to what you’re learning.

Welcome to the average Thai High school trip!

We left for Bangkok on Tuesday night having only been notified twenty four hours previously and arrived at a temple school the following morning. We dropped our bags and went off to our first destination. The Airport. This may sound odd but most of the students on the trip had never been to an airport. We’re country bumpkins remember. So they were all fascinated by check in desks and landing strips. At one point the excitement reached breaking point as a large crowd began to gather near the arrival gate. When I enquired as to what was going on I was told that a “Superstar” from...wait for it...Korea was arriving. I swear you could hear the screams from Cambodia they were that loud. Obviously this was mildly boring for us but it was strange to think that the next time we’d be in that airport, we’d be on our way home.

When one thinks of Bangkok, the word “beach” does not exactly spring to mind. “Sprawling Metropolis” yes. Beach? Not so much. None the less, we set off with an open mind and were pleasantly surprised to find a real beach just outside Bangkok. We spent a very relaxing afternoon there watching roast crabs and prawns and cuttlefish on the sand and enjoying iced chocolate. (The best cold drink ever)

After sleeping (surprisingly well) on a school hall floor, we travelled to Ayutthaya, the cultural capital of Thailand. We looked around Bang Pa In palace and admired the stunning former residences of past kings, fed some turtles in the surrounding ponds and saw a memorial for one of the past queens who had drowned in a boat sinking. Thai law at that time forbade anyone to touch her so no-one tried to save her. The law was quickly changed. Afterward we cruised along on a four-hour round boat journey. I watched the sun set on the river and enjoyed papaya salad (a student mad a non-spicy version especially for me!) smoked fish and of course, rice whilst sitting on the deck.

After another night spent on another school floor we began the long journey home, stopping off several places on the way. First, the floating market where you can buy cups (yes cups) of strawberries from boat-stalls and visit the many lakeside shops for touristy souvenirs. We had to stop every five minutes for photo moments. Thai people love taking pictures and will keep you standing in front of some monument while they swap positions and cameras or make you hold things until everyone has a record of every photo. Next stop, Wat Yai Chaimongkhon. (“Wat” means temple) There was a magnificent, giant reclining Buddha draped in gold cloth and a huge stone chedi (pagoda-y tower thing) which was once completely covered in gold that had been burnt off by the Burmese when the two countries were at war.  For a small price, you could buy some gold flakes to stick back on the many Buddha statues in the hope of one day returning it to its former glory.

Back on the bus we had to put up with another love of Thailand. Bad Karaoke. (Well, karaoke that they don’t realise is sung in a way that makes you want to jump out the nearest window. Oncoming traffic or no oncoming traffic) After five hours straight I was glad to see the lights of Lerng Noktha finally coming into view and as it was midnight by this time, was grateful just to be able to collapse on the nearest school floor. No, I did actually make it home to a proper bed!

So it might not have been the most educational of school trips but it was exciting and interesting and thoroughly enjoyable. And that, let’s be honest, is probably a lot more valuable.

Sawat Dee Ka.

Beach Bums and English Scums

So this blog includes Christmas, New Year and my other latest exploits.

Firstly, Christmas. It was as weird as I thought it would be but once everyone had arrived at our house (they were seven of us all together) and put on Christmas music and got our secret Santa underway, everyone was feeling a bit more cheery. Christmas dinner went down okay-roast chicken from Tesco Lotus followed by coconut cake and ice cream- though the reheating of the chicken proved difficult and nearly resulted in the kitchen being set on fire and I haven’t touched the grill since! My parents sent me a big M&S parcel and thanks to Daisy who sent me the cutest tree decoration I’ve ever seen.

New Year was brilliant. A twenty two hour journey, bad tan lines and a mirror-less guest house were totally worth it. Though in future I might shell out more than £2 a night for accommodation as not knowing what you look like for four days is not an experience I’m dying to repeat. Ko Chang, the island we went to, was the most exotic place I’ve ever been and everything you expect an island paradise to be: blue sky, turquoise, clear sea, white sand and a really chilled atmosphere. That is until New Year’s Eve when the beach party started. It was great. At the countdown, fireworks were set off and all the volunteers did ‘Auld Lang Syne’ together. Everyone was hugging everyone and wishing complete strangers a Happy New Year. The sky was packed with stars and it was just a perfect start to 2011 and my favourite New Year so far.

The next few days were spent on the beach, in the sea, building sandcastles and admiring each other’s beach hair. I’m still having trouble getting a brush through mine. At night we visited the various bars which were all really reggae-ish. You know, grab a cheap drink, nod your head away to Bob Marley and discuss all that’s good in the world. Thai drinks are interesting. They’re normal concoctions but you can order them by the bucket load. Seriously. You want a load of Vodka and Red Bull, they’ll literally bring you a bucket with loads of straws sticking out so you can share the love. Or the hangover.

More recently, we journeyed up to the north of Thailand to take part in an English Camp with some of the other volunteers. English Camps consist of lots of children camping somewhere (ours was in the mountains) and playing team games to help improve their English. The theme for this camp was ‘Saving the world from English scums’ no-one, it seems, managed to point out the grammatical error. Ironic. Each volunteer led a group of students, represented by a superhero. I got given The Mask because the two volunteers organising it think I’m (and I quote) ‘Absolutely Mental.’ There were lots of games, banner making, a fashion show, dancing and singing annoyingly catchy camp songs. Being awakened at 6 in the morning by Justin Bieber’s ‘Baby’ was definitely a low point. Playing Duck Duck Goose around a bonfire with around ninety people was one of the highs.

We’re back in good old Lerng Noktha now, and I must dash and think of something to teach thirty nine to twelve year olds. Past perfect continuous maybe?

SawatDeePiiMai!                                                                                                                                                         

(Happy New Year)

I'm Dreaming of a Thai Christmas...

Last weekend we and some of the other volunteers made a leisurely trip to Bangkok for a few days of sightseeing and, of course, Harry Potter viewing. We visited the King’s Palace, avoiding the many touts who annoyingly kept telling us it was closed and tried to steer us towards other places of business, and wandered around the grounds and museums and the stunning ‘Temple of the Emerald Buddha.’ The statue of the Buddha has three ‘outfits’ depending on what season the country is in. This being the cold season (lows of 23 degrees!) he had on a gold winter coat. During the rainy seasons he sports a large golf umbrella. I’m joking of course. The palace, including the temple, has a strict dress code and people caught in strappy tops, above the calf skirts or tight trousers are quickly shepherded off and lent more respectable garments before entering. So of course every tourist that stepped through the gates was met with ‘No short pants!’ or ‘Please borrow a free shirt!’ We volunteers, being members of communities who dress like that anyway (well they’re a bit more liberal) had much less trouble and caused much less offense.

The less cultural aspect of our trip was watching Harry Potter in a Thai IMAX cinema. Although this is not a particularly Thai experience, it was a new one to me and one which cost about the same as a one way ticket to the town centre back home. IMAX is amazing. If you’ve seen the latest Harry Potter film when I say that I thought I was going to be eaten by the snake. Seriously. The screen was so huge I almost fell over when I saw it.

Back in Lerng Noktha, we’ve been teaching the lyrics to Jingle Bells to children (and other teaches) so many times, I’m beginning to resent all one horse open sleighs though they provide some amusement when the students mispronounce the phrase. And it’s funny when they’re only interested in yelling ‘Hey!’ at the end if each rendition. I also taught one class to make Christmas cards and gave them stickers which they got very excited and quite violent over (the boys especially) at first but then seemed at a loss as how to use them. After showing them how to peel the backs off and stick them on things they produced some very lovely cards.

Our home has turned into a veritable Christmas grotto after we attacked it with tinsel, fairy lights Christmas trees and paper chains (thanks Mum!) and we’ve built up a respectable pile of presents each.  On Christmas Day, some of the other volunteers are coming over so we wanted to make it as festive as possible. (though we may have gone overboard as the tree is now more decorations than fake pine needles.) Christmas here is an odd feeling, like celebrating On Christmas Day, some of the other volunteers are coming over so we wanted to make it as festive as possible. (Though we may have gone overboard as the tree is now more decorations than fake pine needles.) Christmas here is an odd and feels like having Easter in November or happily celebrating your birthday alone. It’s wrong. But hopefully we’ll make it work.

Stuffing and noodle soup anyone?

Banana Leaves, Body Paint and Ladyboys

Last weekend saw the Thai festival of Loy Krathong (the ‘h’ is silent) when Thai people apologise to the river goddess for polluting the rivers. Now this is a bit ironic as they say sorry by floating little boats made out of polystyrene and banana leaves with candles and incense in, on the river which inevitably adds to the pollution. Anyway, while this is going on, big paper lanterns are and floated up to the sky and people perform traditional Thai dances in traditional Thai dress. Anna and I included. Thai dancing consists of a lot of walking around in group circles, making pretty hand gestures and tilting your head this way and that. It’s harder than it sounds, believe me! Your wrists and fingers are bent in unnatural and often painful ways while you have to smile away and step in time to the music. We’d been having dance lessons at the primary school, and all the children kept sneaking out of their classes to watch the two farang stumble around trying to appear graceful. Performing in front of big audience was going to be daunting.

The day finally dawned and we arrived at the dress shop to be transformed. The place was chaotic as pretty much every girl (and a few boys actually) in the town was getting dressed up for Loy Krathong. First, our arms, hands, shoulders, upper backs and upper chests were covered in a kind of flesh coloured body paint. On Thai people, it makes them look pale. We on the other hand looked a little like Morph. Next, ladyboys piled heaps of foundation on our faces and led us away to get changed. Thai traditional dress consists of a tight, ankle length skirt and a one shouldered top. After trying (and failing) to find skirts the right size, they ended up being altered in the shop which was fairly embarrassing. Then more ladyboys set to work on our hair. It was all backcombed ‘til we looked like flintstones and pinned up on our heads. They added fake, bun-shaped extensions which unfortunately (but of course logically) were only available in black so my appearance was just getting odder by the second. Add a fake lily and a tiara and the next step was complete. Another team of ladyboys (man, those guys are skilled) finished our make-up and the finishing touches of earrings, belts and beads were added before we were driven off to the river.

The performance went well (though my clip on earrings fell off) and my lovely male dance partner kept issuing words of encouragement. Afterwards, practically everyone in the entire town wanted photos of us and we obliged while watching lots of little banana-leaf boats drifting down the river. And because it was dark, this was quite a spectacle.

Also this week, we got a visitor from Project Trust (the charity we work for) and it was nice hearing another English accent for once. (Anna of course is Scottish) Nick,-that's his name- came bearing the beth gift ever. What was it you say? News from back home? Better teaching materials? The meaning of life? It was none of these. It was a jar or Marmite. I've never been happier!

Sawat Dee!

Don't Pray Near the Stove

So as promised last time here’s the quick story on my toenail: I stubbed really hard and it eventually fell off after the jungle trek. It’s started to grow back though it could be months until it is restored to its original condition.

As for the results of the language course I got thirty nine out of forty. (Gutted about that last one I know)

Anyway I’m back in Lerng Noktha and I thought I’d fill you in a few things. The word ‘farang’ means foreigner or, more specifically a western foreigner.  So when my partner and I are cycling around town we often hear: ‘oh, farang!’ and then ‘Hello!’ the first because the people are not used to seeing white people (especially females) and the second because that’s the only English word they usually know.  Other than me and Anna there are some farang in Lerng Noktha. There’s Ned the Irishman who lives next door to us and who is also our landlord. He moved here and married a Thai lady. He can often be heard shouting incoherent words down the phone to some unfortunate person. Then there’s Dave, the Englishman who came here on a golfing holiday and later moved here and married a Thai lady. There’s also John the Australian who runs a coffee shop and moved here and married a Thai lady (see where I’m going with this?) and Steve who recently opened a fish chip shop and who moved here and… well you get the picture. They’re an odd, grey haired bunch who are friendly enough. Well we think Ned’s friendly but we can’t really understand him.

Farang also means guava (it’s a fruit people!) So if you’re a westerner caught eating one, be prepared for lots of silly jokes.

Now back to teaching (that’s what I’m here for after all) we haven’t officially started yet but we get up in front of classes and take them through the occasional exercise. Like today students were learning about safety: do not play with matches or stray animals and be careful when you do the laundry as you may hurt your arm (that’s a direct extract from the textbook) etc. Then there was the issue of: do not play near the stove.  Now you may recall that I am in the Northeast of Thailand which is very near Laos, the neighboring country. As a result, people in the northeast speak a mixture of Thai and Lao. In Lao there is no ‘r’ sound so it’s substituted with ‘l’ and people here often mix their l’s and r’s around. So I am Freur and I like to eat lice. (with me so far?) So when Thai children speak of the dangers of stoves they say: do not pray near the stove. And they tell you to be careful not to: Fry kites near electric cables. It can be quite amusing but also frustrating. Especially the name thing. That irritates me. A lot.

So there you have another insight into the lives of volunteer teachers living in Thailand.

Sawat Dee! And remember- DON’T PRAY NEAR THE STOVE!

In the Jungle, the Mighty Jungle...

So during our three week stay in Chiang Mai we all went on a two day jungle...adventure. That's the word. On the first day, we got picked up from our guesthouse and driven up the mother of all scary roads (we actually dubbed it death road) it was so steep and twisty turny we thought we'd all fall out the pack of our truck and go rolling down the mountain. Anyway, we eventually stopped for a quick picnic lunch before beginning our three hour trek back down the mountain.Our guide was called 'Rambo' (and you better be reading this Harminder) and had actually met Sylvester Stallone himself. The trek itself I found long and hard (I'm not a great one for exercise as I'm sure most of you know) but- and forgive me if I get a little poetic here- the views were stunning. Forest covered mountains with little hill tribe villages dotted on them, stretching for as far as you could see. We also saw industrious termites, spiders as large as your face (no joke) and some odd fungus that Rambo insisted was 'magic mushroom.' Stop panicking! Not of us ate it. We were saving ourselves for the opium the following afternoon. (Part joke. Only Rambo had it and he could have been lying.) During the trek we stopped off at a couple of picturesque waterfalls for a rest and a swim which was very welcome and extremely refreshing. We later trekked on some more and made it to camp. And no jungle experience is complete without wooden huts, campfires and outdoor showers. It was extremely fun though and we fell asleep full of anticipation for the next day.

Day two was genuinely on of the best days I've ever ever had. It started with toast for breakfast and a quick walk to the next activity. The group was split into two here and mine went off to another waterfall whilst the other went to the elephant camp. We would swap over later as there weren't enough elephants to go around the eighteen of us. The waterfall was lovely and though we only dipped our toes in it this time I've never had cleaner feet. (Maybe apart from the time some of us went to a fish spa back in the city and had the dead skin nibbled off our feet by little fish- not as disgusting as it sounds I promise) Then it was our turn to elephant trek. You have to sit in a little chair/bench thing on the elephants back while it's trainer ( or Mahout) sits on its neck and nudges it behind the ears. We went two to an elephant and my pair got the only mother elephant whose baby followed her everywhere. This sounds very cute and it really was until mum wonders off into the jungle to pull down a small tree for its baby to eat. I've never been smacked in the face with a branch so many times! It was fun and surreal and terrifying and quite uncomfortable and totally amazing.

After this, it was on to the next adventure: river rafting. Basically three of us in a rubber dingy with one pole and one oar trying to navigate a river with low bridges, fallen trees and swimming dogs (it even jumped in our craft at one point) we did capsize when I found a spider in the boat and tried to kill it with the oar, while at the same time we all ducked to avoid overhanging branches whilst trying to get comfy. Disaster! We all managed to scramble back in and steer (drift backwards really) to the finishing point. Then, after a quick lunch it was time for.. Bamboo Rafting. This I recommend to everyone. It was like the previous activity except this time we had a boatman to steer. His name was Em, he was fourteen and he just loved capsizing us and rocking the boat and chucking us all in. We all stopped at one point to use a tyre swing to jump in the river with which all the locals (and Em) found dead amusing. We had so much fun that our raft and another groups were a full twenty minutes behind everyone else. When we finally 'parked' (and were thrown in all  over again) Rambo did not look best pleased....

Well that was my amazing weekend in the jungle. I have barely started on the rest of my time in Chiang Mai and though it involves me losing a toenail, being a total culture vulture and learning the results of my Thai language test... it will have to wait for another day.

Sawat De Ka!

Live and Learn Thai

See what I did there?

So we're here in Chiang Mai in the north of Thailand for three weeks so we can learn some Thai on a language course. All eighteen of us met up and it was great to hear everyone's stories. Now those of you who have better memories will remember there twenty of us. Not so any more. Two people (or one partership) only stuck it out for a month and are back home in Britain. Chiang Mai as a place is very touristy and its weird seeing white people (or farang) again. There's so much stuff to do like 'Flight of the Gibbon' (like Go Ape but with more gibbons) and Tiger sancturaries and Elephant Trekking. We've seen a few elephants wandering the streets with their 'owners' and you can pay to feed them but it's actually quite a sad sight. But anyway, this should all make three great weeks!

The journey here however was not so thrilling. It took us sixteen hours on an overnight bus and although the it was very luxurious(built in massagers in the chairs and fully reclining seats etc) it was still a bus and I didn't get much sleep. We all went to a night bazaar on our first night and saw many pretty things for sale.

A few more cultural things:

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  If you're female, DO NOT touch a monk. My friend did (by accident) and the poor man was horrified.
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  Here it's the year 2553 (their dates are different) and I can tell you now people the future's bright. Though not so much orange.
• 
  
  If you so much as cough, you'll be bombarded by health questions and possibly be taken to a doctor for no reason.
• 
  
  If you don't like rice, don't come here. And it's easy to stay vegetarian (so I've been told) if you like seafood. Especially squid.

Well now I'm off to a walking market that I'm sure is not much different to an ordinary market but hey.

Sawat Dee Ka!

School's out Forever!

Well not quite, as a teacher I go to school four times a week. Tuesday and Wednesday in secondary school and Thursday and Friday in Primary School. It's quite fun. the other day me and Anna did our first joint lesson teching fruit to Battong three and four (years three and four. I think.) They're enthusiastic and totally loved playing 'slap the board' at the end. School on the whole is fairly laid back. The students don't do an awful lot of work, the teachers answer their moblies in class and the children just walk in and out all the time. As do stray dogs. And lesson times aren't really set. We gathered that they were all on the hour every hour but apparently it's perfectly normal for the whole class to turn up fifteen minutes late. But they're generally well behaved so I can't really complain. Except the boy we've dubbed 'Devil Child' already.

Okay Beth asked about lizards 'and shizz' they're very cute and we have loads living in our house. They hide behind bookcases, run up the wall and eat the insects so they're good roomates! And there are alot of insects. Ants are always around, as are spiders and mosquitos which are mysteriously attracted to clean laundry for some bizzare reason. There's also huge dragonflies and huge butterflies and huge bee/wasp/hornet things. The last two are the only ones that really freak me out though.

Lauren mentioned weather. It's really really hot all the time and it rains heavily everyday for a few hours- usually in the evening though so it cools everything down for the night. I have to sleep with a fan on still. It's getting colder though (hurrah) and temperatures my even dip to 24 degrees! (shock, horror)

My after school anglish class went fine but it's funny because Anna is Scottish so whatever she teaches them, they repeat in her accent. Amusing! She says the same about me but I can't see it myself. :)

Going to Mukdahan tomorrow ( check the Lonely Planet guide Mum!) for shopping and generally doing some touristy things for once. Sawat Dee Ka!

Blood, Sweat and...Rice?

Okay so there wasn't that much blood. Just a tiny bit from where I cut my toe on some grass. Yes grass. It was sharp. Today we went to grow rice with some of our Thai students/friends, two are twins and they live on a rice farm just outside the town where we're staying. We waded into the paddy fields and stuck green shoots in the mud. It was alot of fun but I couldn't do it for an entire day. I ended up losing both my shoes when I got stuck in the mud and so I am a pair of flip flops down. In November it's harvest time so we'll be back for more! (and armed with a much more secure pair of shoes) So beware, the next batch of rice you eat could have been grown by yours truly. Food for thought indeed.

In other news, me and Anna (my partner) moved out of our host family's house and into our own lovely accomadation. It's a three bedroom three bathroom bungalow with proper showers! ( we've been dunking our heads in buckets for the past week) Our host family threw us a kind of leaving party and many people came. They held a special welcoming ceromony for us which entailed every guest tieing a white string around each of our wrists and wishing us health, happiness etc. It was so nice but now I have aroung thirty white (well greyish now really) strings on my arm that I can't take off for three days otherwise I'll get bad luck.

That's it for now so Sawat Dee Ka!

 Oh and tomorow I'm giving my first after school english lesson so wish me luck...

First week in Loeng Nokta

All this week I'm staying with a Thai host family in their house before moving into my own on Saturday. It's quite hard to sleep at night due to a painful combination of jet lag, heat and really noisy cockrels but I guess I'll get used to it! The food is good though there have been some strange combinations cropping up such sweet waffles with sweetcorn in and pumkins filled with 'custard' -not one of my favourites I have to admit.

All the people are very kind and helpful and have trouble pronnouncing/remembering my name. They've given me a Thai one which I can't pronnonce/remember. Its a type of flower though, which is quite fitting. Our host (the person who basically looks after us for a year) took us to visit the primary school we'll be teaching at for three days a week. Now if you know me at all, you'll know I am not fond of children. At all. But even I have to admit Thai children are really sweet and dare I say it quite cute. They all stand up and 'wai' (bow) to you when you walk by and they always tell you how beautiful you are. (Though I'm not sure how much truth there is in this!) For the other days in the week we'll teach at the high school and help out at the Tessoban or local government.

Quick note about the weather- very hot with occasional heavy showers which last for 5 minutes- several hours, so very unpredictable.

Sawat Dee Ka for now.

Two Nights in Bangkok

So I met up with the other 19 volunteers at Heathrow before flying to Mumbai and then on to Bangkok. We'll stay in Bangkok for two nights before travelling to our individual projects.- Hello twelve hour bus journey!

Bangkok is... interesting.

All the taxis are bright pink and the cars are almost all Toyotas. Or Hondas. Instead of "The car in front is a Toyota" here it would be "All the cars in front are Toyotas. Or Hondas"

We visited the MBK shopping centre and discovered you can buy brand new portable DVD players for around 60 pounds, (I can't find a pound sign on this Thai keyboard) and I spent a grand total of 80p on lunch- It was quite filling too.

It's boiling hot and it isn't even sunny and its around 80% humidity. Though it hasn't rained yet so I'm not complaining. :) There's air con in every building but as soon as you walk outside, BAM! you're hit with a massive wave of heat.

Last night I had dinner in a place with lizards running up the wall which entertaining to say the least. Oh and I saw a Lady boy fixing mobile phones.

I don't know when I can write again so goodbye for now!

T'was the night before Thailand...

...and all through the house... people were in an absolute packing frenzy.

Okay so this is my first blog, I've set it up to keep you (and myself actually) informed of all the exciting advetures I hope to have on my gap year to Thailand. Here's a recap of why/who/where etc in case you forgot or because I didn't tell you (more likely)

A charity called Project Trust are sending me to a rural part of North East Thailand for a year to teach english to primary and secondary school children.

I travel and live with a partner and I have my own house too :)

At the start of my year I will take a three week Thai language course in Chiang Mai and I could come back fluent in Thai!

So here I am starting this new, exciting experience so a big thanks to everyone who's supported me and thanks for reading my very first blog and thanks to Dan for helping me set it up. I'm not sure when I'll have internet access so the updates might be a bit sporadic!

(Beth and Chantelle here's your mention)- They're now complaining they didn't get a sentence to themselves.